The Farscape Returns
by Skeletal Dragon
Summary: bella and John Crighton return to Earth for a month after going missing after a space anoaly while in the Farscape. What will they get up to in the one month they have? Who shall they meet? Well the Cullens of course! AU cannon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary - all will be explained in due time. **

**BPOV **

"**Moya has to equalize her pressure with the outside atmosphere before she can give birth." Pilot told us. **

"**There IS no Frelling atmosphere out there! We're in Frelling space!" Chiana shouted. **

"**Then I recommend you go to Earth with John and Bella for the next month." Perfect. **

**I grinned all the way to the Transport bay. Not even Rigel and his incessant complaining can bring me down. Although I did really want to punch him. **

**John, my brother, was coming the opposite way, presumably to get the rest of his stuff. As he passed I swung him round by the arm, still grinning, and we both continued on our way. We do this often. **

**Chiana came out of her rooms as I passed and started to walk with me to Moya's Transport bay, laden down with her belongings. What I really want to know is how she has so much stuff when she came onto this ship with nothing but the clothes on her back. **

"**I'll miss you. You're like family now." she said quietly. **

**I had no bags with me, they were already on the transport, so it was easy for me to pull her blue ass into a hug. "It's a good thing we're not staying on Earth for more than a month then isn't it." **

**She looked at me questioningly, so I added, "You guys have grown on me too." then I just really couldn't walk like this anymore, so I pulled away laughing. She to laughed with me. **

**I swung myself into a Transport, we were taking three. **

**While D'Argo and Rigel argue, I may as well explain a few things. First things first, My brother and I are the only humans on board. The ship is alive, and Frelling pregnant. **

**Aeryn Sunn, a Sebation Peacekeeper and together with my brother, is the most human looking of all of the aliens. She looks human, but there are small differences between our species. She carries a pulse rifle and pulse pistol. **

**Stark also looks pretty human, except for the metal mask covering the right half of his face. It hides a part of his face, and it's kinda like someone covered that half with melted down gold and silver. He can share some thoughts with you. He's with Chiana. We don't know his last name, or even where he comes from. **

**Chiana is Beltaran, they look human, just blue. A kind of greyish blue, even her short spiky hair. She is…an opportunist. But she became like part of our rather dysfunctional family after a while. **

**While we're on blue people, we'll go to P'au Zhota Zahn. P'au is her title, she's a Delviian Priest, a P'au of the 10th**** level, there are only 12 levels. Delviian's are blue, a kind of sky blue, and they have gold spotted highlights all along their skin. Another thing about Delviian's, they're descended from…plants. Honest to God they are!**

**D'Argo next. D'Argo is a Luxon. He is orangey slightly pinkish. His hair is more tentacleish than hair, he just cant move them without using his hands or shaking his head. Same with his beard, except he ties up his beard and there's this tiny tuft of hair at the end. He is a soldier, or he was any how. His weapon of choice is a Qualtablade. A large hefty sword that can also be a pulse rifle if that is what you need. **

**We'll have Rigel next. Dominar Rigel the 16****th**** of Hineria. Very small, green, and floats about in a chair complaining he's hungry. There are so many times that I have been tempted to kill him. **

**Pilot and Moya, Pilot is now…synched shall we say to Moya. Moya is a leviathan, a living ship. Which is how she manages to be pregnant. **

**John and I worked for N.A.S.A, scientists. We were testing out the Farscape when we were sucked into a wormhole, as strange as that might sound. Mind you, a lot of that sounded strange.**

**I might also need to mention that all of us are wanted fugitives. Aeryn was 'irreversibly contaminated' by us criminal folks. D'Argo was accused of killing his wife, it was her brother that did it. Stark 'knew' something the Peacekeepers wanted to know and wouldn't tell. They want that info. Chiana, well, her opportunistic tendencies made her a fugitive. Zahn killed a dude. I'm sure he deserved it. Rigel's cousin wanted his throne and imprisoned him. John and I had a near miss with a Prowler, a Peacekeeper ship, a small two/three man ship. The Prowler wasn't so lucky. Now his brother wants revenge. Moya just plain escaped capture. Peacekeepers like to experiment with Leviathans. **

**I've still got some time before we land, so I should explain that we pretty much all speak different languages, we only understand each other since, from what I can tell, everyone is injected at birth with translator microbes. They sit at the base of the brain and translate everything you hear into whatever your native language is. **

**There was a lurch as we landed. EARTH! **

**I ran from the Transport, eager to see Earth again. We were in the middle of a clearing in a forest. It looked slightly familiar, but I paid no attention to that as I turned to face the rest of the crew, grabbed Johns hand and fell to the ground and stared at the sky. It had never seemed so beautiful before. **

"**What is that?" Rigel asked while pulling something from a nearby tree. Probably a branch. **

"**That would be an arrow." I said after actually looking at it. I know exactly where I am now. **

"**What's an 'arrow'?" Aeryn asked. **

"**You don't know what an arrow is? You know, bow and arrow? Cowboys and Indians? No? Weapon?" John attempted to explain. Attempted being the operative word. **

**I just gave him a look he had come to know far to well, it told him 'it's no use, just give it up'. I've become very good at that look. I also gave another one that told him I knew where I was. Then a look of realisation graced his face. Men! I just looked at him and smacked my head with my hand. Then I smacked his. **

**I heard the rest of them laughing at our silent exchange. Then I heard the click of a gun being armed. I turned around slowly. We all did. **

"**Dad! Uncle Charlie!" John and I shouted as we ran towards them. **

**I clung tightly to Dad as Charlie and John shared a 'man hug'. a few minutes later, we swapped and I was hugging Charlie. He held me at arms length to look me over, Dad doing the same to John. Strange reunion, but it works. I don't think they noticed the aliens though. **

"**Who are they? More importantly, WHAT are they?" Dad asked. I guess they have noticed. **

"**Yes, we want to know that too." Aeryn said. She has her gun out. A nice, big, pulse rifle. Not quite my classification of good. **

"**What did she say?" Dad asked. **

"**She wants to know who you are, that's all. Why don't we sit down?" I said. We did just that, even got a fire going, and we explained, well, quite a lot. And John and I had to translate it all. Joy. **

"**Wow. You sure have done a lot since you've been gone." Charlie said. **

"**How long have we been gone anyway?" John asked. **

"**About 8 months. And you're only staying for a month? At least this time I get to say goodbye." Dad said. **

**After John and I said that we were only staying for a month and so intended to make every second of it count, Charlie and Dad may as well already have us in school. **

***Next Day***

**Aeryn, Chiana, John and myself had been signed up for high school. Did we really look that young? I should be flattered. Chiana and Aeryn are foreign, we translate for them. They have been warned though that they can understand our language, they just can't speak it. Stark and Zahn are just going to be friends of Charlie and Dad's, and the blue people are going to be wearing A LOT of cover up. D'Argo are just to alien to look human. They opted to stay in the transport, Rigel's demands were also that they were given plenty of food. Typical Rigel. I just want CHOCOLATE! **

**We're off to school. Joy, I say once again. Well, not yet, we're not even out the house yet. **

"**Ha-ha! Old Rusty!" John shouted. **

"**Thing my old friend!" I joined. Is it sad that we're embracing a giant, rust, faded red truck while we say these things?**

"**I understand appreciating a good piece of machinery, but even by standards I've come to expect from humans, that is a heap of junk." Aeryn said from the porch. **

**John stood there, surrounded in mock offence, while I tried to explain the sentimental value of the rusty hunk of junk she was verbally abusing. **

**I soon gave up, and we were going to be late. So John and Aeryn continued their argument inside the cabin, or tried to since I had turned up the radio so I could hear it loud and clear in the bed of the truck with Chiana. Tubthumping came on, and I wasn't in the bed of the Truck for long. I was on top of the Truck. **

"**What are you doing?" Chiana asked. **

"**Dancing."**

"**Can I join you?" in way of answer I grabbed her hand and pulled her up on top of the Truck cabin with me. We pulled into the school with Chiana and I dancing on top of the Truck, and John and Aeryn with no clue what the Frell was going on. Part one of getting today's daily recommended dose of fun, part 2 might end up in John frisking Aeryn. Only because we told her no weapons. I think she brought at least one. **

**Chiana and I sat on the truck cabin. John and Aeryn seemed to be continuing an earlier conversation. It went something like this:**

**John - look, I know you want to make sure you aren't caught unaware, but what do think would happen if and when one of these teens found it?**

**Aeryn - easy. They wont find it. **

**John - Aeryn! **

**Aeryn - John!**

**John - don't imitate me! I'm only trying to make sure that we seem as…safe and approachable…as we can. We don't want to spend the entire time here as outcasts and freaks. **

**Aeryn - Well we aren't human! To them we are freaks. **

**John - And a gun is NOT going to help me with that image now is it. **

**Aeryn - fine. **

**Aeryn handed over a gun and John threw it into the cabin. He still didn't notice us sitting quite comfortably on top. John looked at Aeryn sceptically, and did indeed frisk her. Well, it could have been worse. He could have strip searched her. **

**Chiana and I laughed at Aeryn's disgruntled expression and started to slide down onto the hood of the truck quite involuntarily. Thankfully we went no further than that. While we were doing this John had thrown another gun and a couple of knifes into the cabin and hid them in the glove compartment before watching us along with Aeryn in amusement. **

**I saw a very pale and rather tall blond looking in disgust at our truck, along with every other crappy car in the lot. A hot mechanic, don't see a lot of them around. The paleness of all five of the kids around the shiny silver Volvo made me think of the Quileute legends of the Cold Ones. The had the golden eyes and every thing. I would only believe that they were the vampires from the legends though if their surname was Cullen. **

**Mind you, they would have to have a parental figure of sorts, but I suppose if another had joined them, maybe two, that could work quite well. **

**I saw Johns hand waving in front of my face. "Hello?" I shook my head a little and looked at him. **

"**Yeah?" I said. **

"**You were just staring like this." he said as he made a blank expression and tipped his head to the side. Very funny. **

"**Ha-ha. Lets head to the office." I said before making my way in just that direction. **

**I must only be happy if I have five stories at once going or something, seeing as I only just finished one story to start another. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Now remember," John said as we walked to the office, "we're trying to have as much fun as possible, not make them like us or fit in."

"So what's the plan?" They're catching on.

"John, act as gay as you possibly can, Chiana, Aeryn, we are going to try for as preppy annoying cheerleader as possible. Just copy what I do." I added just in case. We were just going to start off in a small way.

"Hello, how can I help you?" the old lady behind the desk said.

"Yes dear, yes you can. We are the new students." John said in his gayest voice.

She was taken aback for only a second, she must have seen this all before. DAMN! "Okay, what are the names and I'll give you your schedules."

I pushed my way in front of John, swaying my hips a lot, and flipping my hair, a lot. Chiana and Aeryn moved with me at the same time. "We are like, Bella Chiana and Aeryn." I said in the best impression of snooty as I could do.

"Like ya!" Chiana and Aeryn said simultaneously. We didn't freak her out that much though. As she gave us our stuff, I was feeling rather disappointed our plan didn't work.

"I don't like her. She took that all far too easily." I said.

"No fun whatsoever!" John exclaimed exuberantly.

"Red alert, here comes desperate." Chiana said. A baby faced boy was headed this way. I remember him! Even when he was 10 he was horny as hell and desperate for a girlfriend. He would chase them round the block and everything!

He came up, he came on to me, and I will spare you the gory details, because he murdered sexy. There's nothing left. It was ruined. He said I couldn't resist his 'oh so very sexy appeal', true, if I can totally change the meaning of sexy!

I gave him 5 seconds to try, and then I sprinted. If my memory serves me well, I'm headed for English.

He may have chased girls, but he wasn't very fit. I got far enough ahead of him that I began to do the moonwalk, and I continued it right in to English. I finished with a flourish and bowed to the class, all of it present since the bell had rang.

The teacher, an old and boring looking mass, started to talk animatedly at me, so I sat down with my hands raised in surrender. The teacher, Mr Mason, was starting a new book, the Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor.

This would be cause for celebration, I loved those books, but he spoke with such a boring monotony that I hardly even heard what he was saying. I imagined he was like J. K. Rowling's Professor Binn's. Out of the corner of my eye. I could have sworn I saw John with a stopwatch, but I didn't turn to look, for fear moving would cause me to take the book from the undeserving hands of Mr Mason. About 5 minutes, which seemed far more like 5 hours, I remembered, I want to have fun here, so why don't I just take the book from him, it would be far less painful anyway.

So, without a single word, for I would begin to shout obscenities at him, I walked up to him and plucked the book from his hands. I began to read the book with a fervour. I spoke of the invasion of Redd's card soldiers, the fight between the Cat and Hatter Madigan. As the fighting began, I stepped onto the nearest desk, as you can tell I don't like to keep my feet firmly on the ground, and danced the intricate war dance I spoke of.

When the bell rang, a death blow had been dealt, and I held a sword no one else could see, pointed directly at the largest of the people I suspected vampires, Emmett Cullen. From the look on his face I began to fear that I had drawn the sword I owned on him, but no such luck.

I grasped his hand, and it was freezing cold, as it would be if he were a vampire, and used it to jump down. He looked like he needed a hug, and from the names on the jotters I had walked across none of his family were in this class, so I pulled him into a hug.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, and it seems like an OK idea right now, because he laughed, hugged me back, and invited me to join his family for lunch.

But other than that, English was uneventful. I plan to make this sort of thing seem normal to the gossipy town, maybe cure them of it. Then again, it's really fun when they're scandalised by it.

Math next.


	3. Chapter 3

I walked to math with my arms linked with Aeryn and Chiana, John was doing a Pink Panther impression, since we couldn't be bothered rushing and were therefore already late. God only knows what he was looking for though. I couldn't see him any more, until he suddenly burst from a bush in front of us. Aeryn hadn't quite realised yet who he was and had a gun pointed towards him. Or would have if she still had one in the back of her waistband. We all started to laugh as Aeryn threatened John with air.

We walked into math, and just walked straight to the only four empty seats. We didn't want to let him start a talk on how being late, especially on your first day wasn't a good thing. So we stared to talk, after he started to lecture of course.

We got about 40 minutes of this, talking about things to do, and not to do at school. Of course, our survival guide completely disregarded trying to get in the teachers good books, learning and avoiding getting bullied. A bully would really only last about five minutes top against us anyway.

There was only 10 minutes left when Mr Varner, b****** that he proves himself to be, called up John, saying "Do you already know what I am teaching? Do you wish to teach this class yourself?"

Have you noticed a lot of teachers use that threat? So John nodded eagerly, grabbed my hand as he passed me and we both went up to the head of the class. We both would have been able to easily teach the class, being quite literally rocket scientists, but we didn't. Instead, John started off, saying, "well, today, we are going to teach you the difference between boredom, and enjoyment. Our wonderful assistant Mr Varner has already given an example of complete and utter boredom, now can anyone give an example, of fun?" so unfortunately we ended up with only 10 minutes of trading jokes and funny stories with the class.

The bell rang, signalling the end of second period. Next, if I remember correctly we have French. Then, thank the Gods of every world, there is lunch.

Chiana and Aeryn hurried to the front of the class in order to be first out. They got that if we stayed for a length of time we would be in some serious deep.

We walked into French, hand in hand because we had been teaching them about the Wizard of Oz, and we were asked upon arrival how much French we knew.

John and I were united in a hatred for French, and also its not as if we would ever need it, so John said, "Bonjour." and I said "Au Revoir." and we all exited the class.

We ducked round the corner, since any teacher I know would have at least popped their head out the door to see if we were still there so they could shout at us. After about, 5 minutes? We got out and John started to climb up a nearby trellis to get onto the roof.

All of the buildings were one story high, so there wasn't to much kerfaffling about. Were did I come up with kerfaffling? As we all reached the top, I asked, "Why do they need to purposely grow plants around her? Is there not enough green every where else?"

"Technically there isn't much green anyway." Aeryn pointed out. I hadn't even noticed it had been snowing. Huh.

"When did it start snowing?" John asked. I just shrugged in reply. "Why don't we start a snowball fight then. Its not as if anyone has classes next." This school was rather weird with the times, three periods then lunch then two periods and shove off home.

So we spent the rest of the period jumping around the rooftops making huge snowball piles, and of course there were mini snowball fights between the rooftops, the teams constantly switching, but the mini fights ended as soon as one of us missed and hit a window and generally made ourselves noticeable. I don't think anyone's seen us yet though. We had as many snowballs as the snow covering the roofs could make, we didn't want to give them any advance warning.

We were just wandering about the roofs, or jumping, looking for the first target. The first I saw, just happened to be Mike. I stayed on that roof as long as I could, throwing snowballs in any direction, and jumping to the next when I ran out of ammo. Occasionally we would team up, having jumped to the same roof, and someone had even put on music, I'm not sure what it was, I couldn't make it out properly, but it was fast and upbeat, absolutely perfect. Nobody saw us, our snowballs were no more, so we climbed down and ran for the cafeteria.

I passed Mike, he was soaking wet since he was one of my favourite targets, and as I did he committed bad sexual harassment act number 2, grabbing my ass I ran past.

We ran into the cafeteria, sliding to a stop right at the end of the line. "I am genius!" we all shouted. It was an old habit of John and mine, soon Aeryn and Chiana had come to join us in our habitatual cult. I don't think that makes much sense. We corrected, now shouting, "We are genius!" now that I think about it, it must have sounded strange to every one else since it was being said in three different languages.

The line was pretty long so we started talking.

Chiana - Not that I'm complaining, but why didn't we stay for French?

Me - there's two very good reasons,

John - One, if they tried to teach us we would just repeat what we heard, and we wouldn't be hearing it in French, we would be hearing it in English, or whatever weird language you speak.

Me - and two, French is boring.

Aeryn - and three, fights are more my line of work, even if it is with snowballs.

Chiana - not to mention fun.

Me - way way way more fun than French, trust me.

Our conversation was interrupted, by bad sexual harassment effort number three, being 'pinned' to the salad bar by Mike. Even if I did like him in that way, which is not even a remote possibility, against a three foot high salad bar?

"Mike? I really am not sorry to say this, but your not a sex god, you'd do far better as a perverted junky." I don't think he quite got it.

As he didn't get it, I went for another tactic, which I fear I may regret in the future, since it involved a pout and a sweet tone along with the words, "Mikey? I don't think we should do it in public, should we? Why don't we wait until we're alone." and shoved him off me, grabbed his shoulders, turned him the opposite direction and pushed.

Note to self - Make sure never EVER to be alone with mike in the same room.

And brain replies, ERROR! Note already made.

New note - bring a gun to school tomorrow. I seriously mean it, I will bring it. He's making kissy faces.

John leaned in to whisper, "I thought it was only girls that did that."

I nodded shell shocked and abandoned my pursuit of lunch. I just wouldn't be able to eat it now. I started to walk over to the table I saw Emmett at. He was only my second favourite target.

"Why aren't you covered in snow!?" he whined. He's more teddy bearish than grizzlyish than I thought.

"Because it dried while you were still in class." the only snow I got on me was from the mini snowball fights.

"But you were in class too." he said.

"Me, French, an entire period, NEVER!" not even a possibility.

"But why didn't you get hit by the army?"

"The what?"

"There was an army somewhere out there, and they had snowballs!"

"I'm flattered." Aeryn said.

"Huh? Weird lady say what?" he said dumbfounded.

"Aeryn and Chiana cant speak English." John said amused. "She said she was flattered."

"Why would she be flattered?"

"Because you thought that she was skilled enough to be counted as an army along us three." I said, waiting for the eruption.

"You four! You bombed the entire school with snowballs! Unbelievable…Why didn't I think of that?"

"It was that, or French, which one would you prefer?"

"No contest there."

"I hate to interrupt, but do you mind telling us who these people are Emmett?" the blond girl asked.

"I have no idea."

"You could tell us who they are." I suggested.

"I can do that! Rosalie, my girlfriend so hands off," I saw a wedding band on both of their fingers, they're a bit more than that. "Alice, my sister and Jasper's girlfriend," wedding bands… "And lonely Eddie over there. He's free meat." I had to laugh at that. I think Eddie growled. Maybe his name isn't actually Eddie. Well, apart from a Bronzy, I suppose he could be an Edward. Or an Adonis.

"Don't you think Emmett looks a little like D'Argo?" Chiana said, inspecting him.

"The only thing I got out of that was 'Emmett'. What about you?" I heard Jasper ask Edward. I ignored them.

I started to inspect him as well, then turned back to her to say, "Only in size."

"What about strength?" Aeryn asked.

"Depends if my suspicions are correct, I suppose. Until then it's a free-for-all."

"What suspicions?" John asked.

"Ones that prove I read way to much into old stories of course, what others are there?"

"Ones that prove you watch way too many horror movies?"

"Why a horror movie?"

"At least with those two I can understand what they're saying!" Emmett exclaimed loudly, that's the only reason I actually listened to it.

"Sure you know WHAT they're saying, but does it make sense? Because it makes no sense to any of the rest of us." Edward said.

"GOOD!" we four shouted at once. They had began to talk so quietly they were almost whispering, so I guess we must have been trying to frighten them.

It worked, Emmett, the closest to us, jumped the highest. I took that chance to snatch his chocolate cake. You never realise just quite how addictive and wonderful chocolate is until you go 7 months without it.

"Hey! You stole my chocolate cake!" he shouted. Although he did look slightly relieved. I'll wonder about that later.

For now, "So?"

"So, I might have wanted to eat that you know!"

Again, "So?"

"So you just don't go around stealing peoples food."

I could have said so again, but I said "I'll tell you who we are."

"Deal."

"I'm Bella, John my brother, Aeryn his girlfriend, she's foreign and so's her friend Chiana. We translate for them."

"Cool!" then the bell rang.

"biology." we said after a slight pause to remember what we had next.

So we found out Edward had biology with us, and went there blah blah blah. I ended up next to Edward in front of the others. He looked confused as hell, I might add. And yet still darned hot, yet he was freezing cold. Mind you, I had completely covered him in snowballs. Along with every one else at Forks High.

I just talked to Edward pretty much the whole way through, until about 5 minutes before the end of the lesson the teacher called me up on it. I heard John whisper "Busted."

"Is there a reason You're talking miss Swan?"

"Yes. Yes there is." he just waited as if he was expecting me to say something, so I looked back down at my pad, which I had been drawing plans for changes to the module, and wondered what else I could do to it.

Then he started to talk again. "Care to share why you were talking Miss Swan?"

"No, not really." maybe I could add a couple more thrusters.

"Let me rephrase, why are you talking while I am trying to teach?"

"Because you're failing miserably." I guess it goes fast enough already though, and its never going to beat Aeryns prowler.

"do you want a detention Miss Swan, while every one else is at home enjoying themselves?"

"No, that would be far too boring. Detentions are not on my to do list." it would be better just making a new module from scratch, add in all the new alien technology we've found.

He started to speak again, but the bell rang and I exercised my rights as a student to leave the class when the bell rang. Unfortunately, Mike caught up.

"so, What class you got next sexy?" I suppose if we're being technical about that could count as number four.

"How to do defend yourself against wannabe rapists."

"I don't know where that is."

"Don't worry, I think they'll be using you as part of the demonstration." I said before pulling away and ducking out of sight.

Gym next.


	4. Chapter 4

So, since we didn't actually have to do gym since we were new, Aeryn and I headed straight to the limited workout equipment in the corner. I was at the punching bag, timing my kicks and punches to the We Will Rock You rhythm. Punch Punch Kick, and so on.

"Do you want to spar?" Aeryn asked me. I was the only one who could match her, apart from D'Argo.

"If this school has Health and Safety Laws, they shouldn't even be thinking about letting us." I'd already explained health and safety laws.

"Like that really matters."

"I suppose not, it's not like this school even knows what that is anyhow." so we had a short sparring session, but when John and Chiana said the Coach was finally coming along with the rest of the class, I swear they took at least half the period, we stopped and sat on the bench with them as if we weren't even capable of it let alone just doing it a couple of minutes ago. It being sparring.

It would have been really boring, I mean, what can we really do to ruin the class for the teacher if we aren't even taking part? So we continued our personalised survival guide for the alien extension of the family.

Before he left, Mike made another attempt. "Hey Baby, see you in the broom closet in 5 minutes." he started to turn away with a smirk on his face, which grew more prominent when I pulled him back.

"Mike? I hate you. Always have, always will, and in the cafeteria, that was this new thing called lying. You try one more time, and I swear I will at the very least get John to beat you up." At the very most, I'll find a gun and shoot him. I have a license. I can do it.

"I think now would be a good time to leave." John said after he left. We walked really quickly, since that was the fastest it was possible to go in the group of people trying to cram through the door, and hoped we were way ahead of him. He was only ignoring the other two because they didn't speak English, but I do and I want away!

What ended up happening was I got out of the gym building, and found Mike, who ended up chasing me to the parking lot. I seriously wonder what he intends to do if he catches me, which he wont. But, I really couldn't be bothered running all over town to get rid of him, so I stop slap bang in the middle of the parking lot, I still had a minute or two before he caught up, and started looking for the fastest car I could find.

The fastest, and by far the best car in the lot, was a silver Volvo. It wasn't even a particularly new model, since that one was out for a while before we left, but it sure as hell beat all the other cars here.

I have only ever stolen a car once, and that was on a bet Jake made to see if I could steal his truck which just happens to be Old Rusty, but it still seemed really easy, the door wasn't even locked.

I didn't check to see if there was anything, or any one, in the car in my desperation. I do NOT want to be cornered by the pervert.

The keys were even in the ignition. So I sped away as fast as I could.

"Does this thing go no faster?!" Mike was gaining.

"It does if you change gear." holy fucking hell!

I jumped at least a foot and turned to see who was beside me. It was Edward. Go figure it's his car. "huh. I forgot about the gear change." And proceeded to go straight to the highest gear. I know it doesn't really do the car much good to do that, but I want away! And its not as if I cant fix it or anything.

"Are you sure you have a license?"

"I am sure about that yes, I'm not sure if its still valid though because I haven't even SEEN a car let alone driven one in the last 7 months. Why do you not look angry or anything that I high jacked your car while you were still in it?"

"It's Forks. It's boring in Forks. Its not as if I couldn't take the car back by force anyway, so I don't see much harm in it. And I see no harm in getting away from Newton either. I would say getting away from him would be beneficial to anyone's health."

"I like you. If only because you don't mind when I steal your car and pelt you with a ton of snowballs and mess up your lunch break."

"Who can complain when a beautiful lady is doing it?" in spite of myself, I blushed. And I thought I had that under control to.

"Mikes not chasing us anymore." he said after I didn't say anything. I was still trying to stop the blush.

"Show's how good I am at driving then, doesn't it? Where do you live and I'll take you and your car back."

"why don't we swap, I know Forks better."

"And what makes you say that?!" I said in mock offence.

"Well, you did only just move here."

"again."

"Again?"

"I've lived here before."

"Really, for how long?"

I had to think about that one. Lets see, I was 22 when I left Earth, which means I'm 23 now and I didn't notice, but back to the point, take away the 7 months in space, and the 7 year at uni and N.A.S.A, that makes me like the number 7 a lot, and 16 years. "16 years." I said proudly. Only took me a few minutes to figure out.

"Okay, so you know Forks better than I do." then he told me where he lived.

"You know, I don't actually know Forks all that well, I spent all my time in the woods, they were far more interesting. You want a walk in the woods and I'm your girl, but a guided tour of the town, not so much."

"The woods aren't safe." he said, kinda darkly, as if he knew something I didn't.

"What kind of danger?"

"You know, wild animals and stuff."

"Well I know how to use a gun, so beat that you wild animals and you fierce stuff! Hey, how did your family get home anyway? Wouldn't they still be at school?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Do you have a phone?"

"Yes."

"Can you use it?""yes."

"Are you going to?" he took the hint.

"They went with your family to the Mall."

"Why?" John would never go there willingly.

"Apparently Chiana wanted to go shopping, and Alice being a shopaholic pixie decided that we were all going to. We've to meet them there." at that I did a quite probably illegal and rubber burning u-turn. "And she said to tell you that John said 'the fish is in the bin'."

"What the Frell? Is that secret code or something?"

"I don't get why your asking me! I don't know!" he said as he held his hands in surrender.

"Sure, sure. So tell me, what's been going on in the world. And who won the super bowl?" and this is how our conversation started. Our conversation being who should have won the Super Bowl, even though I wasn't even there.

The song 'Bad' came on, and I had an idea on how to get rid of Mike. Then 'Cant stop killing you' came on and finalised my plans, all though I may have freaked Edward out a little by muttering about 4.5's shotguns and AK 47's.

"So did you get my message about the fish?" John asked as I got out the car.

"I just have one question, has the eagle landed next to it or something? What the Frell are you on about?"

"The fish that was stinking up the house, Dad put it in the bin when Uncle Charlie went fishing."

"You couldn't have just said that in the first place?"

"IT seemed perfectly clear to me." he said shrugging.

Alice has decided that her and Rose are Aeryn Chiana and mine best friends. And also insisted on me getting a make over. She was satisfied with Aeryn and Chiana, but not me, nuh uh. I had to get my hair done and a new wardrobe, and she doesn't even know whats in it! She barely even knows me! And that is the only reason she consented to let me pay for it.

John didn't see any reason to get my hair done, but I actually agreed with the ultimate shopping champ on that one.

"John, when we left my hair was barely past my shoulders and curly as hell, it's not supposed to be down to my ass and bone straight." he had then nodded in agreement, but Alice was questioning me on where we went during the entire time my hair was being done.

By the end of that experience my hair was still down to my ass, but in curly layers each in a different colour, and Alice was still trying to figure out where we had gone.

When we came out of the mall, I had another idea I hadn't told anyone yet, and we all were carrying at least three bags each, and we'd already made a trip to the cars. Lets just say it's a good thing Old Rusty's a rather large truck.

As I was about to get in the drivers seat of the Volvo, I was amazed Edward was letting me drive, I saw a car I recognised. I grabbed Johns arm and pointed to where Jake's car was, his pride and joy. It was a pretty beat up looking rabbit, but don't let that fool you, its still pretty darn fast.

I also saw Jake. I ran over and hugged him. He stood there pretty shocked at first, probably didn't recognise me.

"Bells? I thought you were never gonna come back."

"Well, the next time we leave, we leave for good."

"Seriously?" I nodded. "Are the aliens making you say this?"

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. That and, why else would you be leaving us for good?"

"Okay, so yes there are aliens involved, and I just so happen to like them, a lot. Race ya to the border?" I challenged. It was a diversionary tactic and he knew it, but he couldn't turn down a challenge.

"Your on pipsqueak."

"You may be bigger than me, but I am older and I can fight better!" I shouted as I ran to the Volvo, starting it up quick enough Edward probably thought Mike was after us again. This time though, I had an advantage. I remembered the gear change.

Basically, I killed the tyres, and possibly the engine, but I won. "I can fix that." I said pointing slightly guiltily to slightly smoking hood.

Jake pulled up a couple of minutes later. He got out and I hugged him again. I wasn't going to see him again in a month, so why not?

Edward looked suspicious, and asked Jake how old he was. thankfully I was behind Edward when he asked this, so I held up my hands to tell him to say he was 15. If I was going to continue to pretend I was 17, I couldn't say I was older than him and have him saying he was 20.

I said bye to Jake, promising to visit him later, and hoped Edwards Volvo would survive the trip back to his house. I did promise to fix it!

"I hate to tell you, but your cars beginning to sound like my truck. On the plus side, that trucks not given up on us yet." I told him. It didn't help. He was clutching the sides of his chair as if I was about to crash or something.


	5. Chapter 5

As expected, I got to his house without crashing. And as expected, it was a damn fancy house.

Everybody was already there, and I said a quick hello before asking if I could borrow their garage for about half an hour, though when a puff of smoke came from the Volvo, I corrected to about 1 hour. At least.

I came back into their house triumphantly 40 minutes later. It was in even better condition than when I sto - borrowed it.

"I told you I could fix it!" I shouted pumping my fist in the air. "And that's an accomplishment having not worked on a car for over half a year."

"You like cars?" Rose asked.

"Sure, its not quite my speciality, but doesn't stop me working on them." I answered.

"What is your speciality."

"Space crafts mostly, although I dabble in various other things."

"so you're a conspiracy theorist." she said dubiously.

"No, not in any way whatsoever. The government can do all it wants for all I care. It's not as if it'll be able to control me for long."

"Not as if it ever could either." John added.

Aeryn gave me a look, accompanied by the words, "You were not loyal to your government? If you were sebatian you would have killed for such insubordination."

"Yes, well, I'm not sebatian and I ain't dead either."

"What's a sebatian?" Emmett asked.

Jasper asked, "And why would you be dead?"

"Aeryn is a sebatian, and I would be dead for not being a sebatian." I said. The simplest explanation.

"So the sebatian are purists?" Carlisle asked.

"In a way yes. Can we not talk about the al- sebatians. Lets talk about other things, like why there are two beat up Harley Davidson's in the Thing/" I said, and effectively changing the subject.

"Just thought it would be fun to fix them up." John said. "You know how we only have time for the fun stuff."

"True true and truer again. So lets get going!" I shouted before heading for the door. All of the Cullen's winced as I did this, and this proved my theory even further.

I was in the truckbed with Chiana again, it was Aeryns turn in the truckbed with me tomorrow, and I was peeking round through the drivers side window to talk to John.

"Can we stop by Jakes first." I asked him.

"Why?"

"Because I want to see if I can prove my theory."

"And just what is this 'theory' you've been talking about all day?"

"Now that'd be tellin' now wouldn' it?" I said.

"Fine! I'll take you, just stick with your own accent!" he said before doing a quite probably illegal u-turn.

"Thanks."

"I wanna talk to him anyway." he grumbled. He hated when I faked another accent. He said it freaked him out.

"Hi Jake! Can I borrow your book of Quileute mythology?" I said when he came out of his actually rather small house to come greet us.

He shook his head, almost as if he was expecting something like this, and ducked back inside to find it.

"So you've finally decided to join me in my Quileute faith?" he asked teasingly.

"Oh you only say that because you're a Quileute wolf." I said back distractedly.

"How did you know that?" he asked confused.

"Actually it was just a wild guess, but you are way to tall to be three years younger than me." I said still looking for the part about the vampires. Actually it was a pretty big part so I don't think I'll miss it.

"So you think the Cullen's are vampires?" Jake asked looking over my shoulder.

"So that's your theory!" John exclaimed.

"If I can believe in aliens, then I can believe in vampires and shape shifters." I said ignoring John.

"Your right you know." and that solved that.


	6. Chapter 6

I jumped and fell out of bed. Charlie and Dad came running into the room. 

"I probably should have told you about the marching band that goes round town every morning." Charlie said guiltily. Damn right he should!

"If it helps, he didn't tell me either, and we put snow chains on the truck because of the ice." Dad offered. I merely grumbled in reply. 

When they left, I muttered, "Where the frell do they find the people for a marching bad in Forks?"

* * *

Well it's midnight, damn rightWe're wound up too tightI got a fist full of whiskeyThe bottle just bit meThat shit makes meBat shit crazyWe got no fear, no doubtAll in, balls outWe're going out tonightTo kick out every lightTake anything we wantDrink everything in sightWe're going til the world stops turningWhile we burn it to the ground tonight 

Aeryn and I were in the truckbed, dancing basically as if we were giving a rock concert. I needed some rocky music after the marching band problem this morning. 

Now, a van was headed this way, and I really needed some fun, so neither Aeryn nor I took the easy way out like John and Chiana. 

Instead, we continued until the van hit the truck side on, we braced ourselves by placing our hands on the top of the van. But the top of the van was icy, and our hands slid forwards. So we pulled our legs up and slid across the van an landed neatly on the other side, though we both fell back against the side of the van. 

"Nicely done." I said to Aeryn. 

"Same to you too." she said to me. 

The Cullen's, along with everybody else, came running towards us. I just only really care about the Cullen's. 

Edward held me at arms length to check me over and see I was okay. Once he appeared satisfied, he pulled me into a hug. 

"Don't ever do that again." he said to me. 

"What? Escape near death?"

"Just don't get into a near death experience and I'll be happy."

"Why would my welfare make you happy?" I asked. 

"I don't really know." he said. He was sure all right, but he wasn't sure about how to tell m, or if to tell me.

"You lie." 

"I cant tell you. I don't want to scare you away." I gave him a look as if to say 'you couldn't scare me if you tried.'

"Fine, I think, I think I love you." he said quietly. 

"well I think I love you too." he seemed unexpectedly upset about this.

"You cant - you don't know - I could - and I wouldn't even notice - you cant -"

"Just spit it out and I'll read it."

"You cant possibly love a monster like me."

"you know, the Quileute legends say that love between vampires, and between vampires and humans coz they have records of that too, is unconditional and immediate." I said. 

I took advantage of his stunned appearance and now slack embrace to let the paramedics do their job, but neck braces were flatly refused. 

* * *

I was sitting on a bed beside Aeryn, why use two beds, and John and Chiana had a couple of seats and were sitting on either side of us. 

John was messing about, and was playing the song 'blood makes noise' by Suzanne Vega.

I'd like to help you doctor

Yes I really really wouldBut the din in my headIt's too much and it's no goodI'm standing in a windy tunnelShouting through the roarAnd I'd like to give the information

You're asking forBut blood makes noiseIt's a ringing in my earBlood makes noiseAnd I can't really hear youIn the thickening of fearI think that you might want to knowThe details and the factsBut there's something in my bloodDenies the memory of the axe

"There was an axe?" the Doctor asked. He seemed completely perplexed, which wasn't a look I ever imagined seeing on a vampire. Its not my fault he walked in just in time to hear that line. 

"I don't know. My blood denies the memory of it." I said. 

"I didn't see an axe either." Aeryn said. I ignored the poor Doc's confusion. 

"Do you know what an axe is?"

"Yes, we have axe's." she said irritably. 

"Had to check, didn't I? You might have seen an axe but not known it because you didn't know what it was and then you would have been lying to the Doctor.." I said. 

"Can someone tell the Doctor what's going on!" he talks about himself in the third person? "All I know is that a van crashed into you two."

"So you want to know the rest?"

"If you would be so kind." 

I leaned in towards him and motioned for him to come in closer. "It didn't hit us." I whispered, then nodded very seriously. 

"What really happened?" he asked again. He didn't seem overly annoyed, so I asked why. He replied that we seemed okay, and we certainly sounded it, so he wasn't to bothered. It was certainly a change from what usually goes on around Forks. Just for that, I like him. 

"I have decided I like you, so we in short jumped over the van." I said. 

"well, it was really more like sliding across the top of it." John corrected. 

"You jumped over it?"

"Well, slid, as John said. We were in the bed of our truck at the time, so it was pretty easy to do."

"In any body else, I would probably say that at some point you will experience post-traumatic stress, but that seems very unlikely. I guess you can go then, but come back if you need to." he said. Then he looked around for a patient to go help. He didn't find one. 

As soon as I got out the door, I was steered away, so we could talk privately he said. Then, mike barged in. 

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" he asked cockily. 

"I was fine a minute ago." 

"Aw, don't worry baby, Mike will make it go away."

I was in no mood to get him to go away, so I took the easy road out. "Mikey? I have something for you." I said in a sickly sweet voice. He totally bought it. 

"Yeah baby?" I grabbed his shirt.

My voice lost all of its sweetness and became more threatening. I slammed him against the wall and said, "A bullet with your name on it. I'll even shoot it straight through your heart for you." 

"You - you wouldn't do that - your kidding." he pleaded. 

I let him go, not very gently, and pulled out the 4.5 I had brought and made a show of arming it. He ran for his life. 

I couldn't help it. I laughed. 

"How do you find that amusing? You threatened to kill him." Edward seemed disturbed by this, the rest of the Cullen 'children' had joined us. 

"Don't get your panties in a twist. It was an empty cartridge. Although, if he does that again, I will shoot him. I might not kill him, just shoot him in the foot or something, but I've only got one month on Earth and I will not let it be ruined by Mike." I thought for a moment, and said, "okay, I'll probably not shoot him, but only because I don't want to spend that month in prison. Although it could be fun trying to break out."

"What do you mean you only have a month?" Alice asked distraught. Why did she care so much already? I barely knew her.

"as in, in one month, Aeryn, Chiana John, D'Argo, Rigel, Stark, Zahn and I will not be here any more." 

"Who are D'Argo Rigel Stark and Zahn?" she asked. 

"Almost as freaky as vampires." I said. 

"Is that a hint?" She asked. 

"depends, do you think it is." 

"You know we're vampires." she stated.

"I thought you'd already figured that out."

"Would you like to come over to our house?"

"I'd love to." that was weird. 

So we went to their house, they explained their vampireness, we were not saying a word about the aliens, and Edward admitted he loved me to his family and mine. And so on and so on. It was fun. 

And at the end of the day, we know tons about them, and they know almost nothing about us. It may seem a little one sided, but, well, actually it is. 

Meh!


	7. Chapter 7

That night, in congratulations of Aeryn and my owns display of skill with the van, and also about our learning of the Cullen's vampireness, we introduced the aliens to alcohol.

But before, I placed a duvet that was a bit too big in the bed of the truck, placed a water proof cover over the whole thing, and THEN got a little more than a wee bit drunk.

* * *

The next morning, as expected, John and I had a hangover. Chiana was hung-over as well, but Aeryn had been more disciplined with her drink, and was now officially the designated driver.

So, I didn't even bother changing out of my pyjamas, I don't think John or Chiana did either, and we more sleepwalked than anything else to the car. I was awake enough to take the cover off the truck, and pulled myself into it and lay down on it while John and Chiana do the same, it would have been far more awkward if Aeryn was here to, but now it was more like a hung-over family with nowhere else to lye, so pretty much the same as it actually was. I hadn't let go of my blanket during the entire thing.

"Bella? Do you wanna have a paintball fight?" John asked me sleepily.

"Sure, but we need to find the paintball guns. Remember, we stashed them in an abandoned house."

"Oh yeah, in the basement, and we locked the door from the inside didn't we?"

I murmured, "Yepidedoda." and then…

I was jolted completely awake by loud booming laughter more than anything else, Emmett's, when we got to school.

I had a bright blue tank top and loose black joggers, my pyjamas, and Chiana's were similar to mine, having borrowed mine, and John had a white top and black sports shorts, his own pyjamas, Aeryn had actually gotten changed.

John and Chiana were getting out by getting up and jumping out, I didn't. If I can have a lie in, I'll take it. It isn't strictly necessary to wake up properly just yet.

I instead grabbed the side of the truck and pulled myself over, landing on the ground on my back. Boy am I glad Aeryn had parked next to the grass. And that we taught her how to drive yesterday.

I was a bit mucky, but it was absolutely pouring so I would be clean again in a couple of minutes anyway.

Edward looked unsure whether or not to hug me to him, probably because of his complete and utter freezing cold body, so I did it for him, and went one step further. A simple chaste kiss on the lips and he wasn't letting me go because the freezing cold man was frozen. I find that highly amusing, or I might still be a little drunk. Or it might be amusing to a sober person. So am I sober or not?!

"Jasper, I have a very important question for you." I took a quick look at Edward, and added "Two actually."

"And what are they?"

"Hey! I'm asking the questions! What's he feeling, I cant tell. All I did was kiss him and now he ain't movin'."

"Love, and shock."

"Understandable I suppose. Okay, next question, the most important one, am I drunk or not?"

"Bella, if you can say that, you're sober." John said, Jasper soon corroborating his statement. Okay, if I can think that, I cant be drunk.

On the upper hand, that shocked Edward into movement. "Why would you be drunk?"

"By consuming large amounts of alcohol."

"I know how you get drunk, but why would you be drunk? You're not old enough." I was about to take offence, but then I remembered I was pretending to be 17. Hang on…

"Hold up a sec, the legal age limit was 16 when I left." I said confused.

"well its 18 now apparently. Guess we're not doing that again." John said. I seriously did not believe him, he would not give up the beer, he loves the stuff even more now he's not had it in 7 months, although he's forgotten how to handle his drink, at least I got drunk after a reasonable amount, 23 glasses.

"So, what time is it?" I asked, quite glad that Edward could read neither John or my minds. Anything he read from Aeryn and Chiana was in their own respective languages, and completely unintelligible to him.

"Five minutes to first period." Alice said.

"Oh, anyone else got R.E first?" Aeryn and Alice stuck their hands in the air. "Seriously, I thought because we were translating for those two we were in all the same classes?!" I exclaimed as John and Chiana's hands stayed put.

"Apparently as long as at least one of us in each of their classes that's okay by them." John said.

"Oh well, R.E is great for falling asleep." I shrugged as I headed for the room of much napping, or the R.E class.

The teacher looked as if he was going to fall asleep himself when I got in, and he actually fell asleep before me, although he did manage to stay asleep for longer, as far as I can I tell he's still asleep.

That day, thanks to my hangover, I spent the time blatantly ignoring pretty much everyone who was not a Cullen, related to me, or an alien.

Although, at lunch I remembered the map.

"EUREKA!" I shouted. They all looked at me questionably. "What? Isn't that what people say when they figure something out?"

"What did you figure out?" Emmett asked, now bouncing happily in his seat. I don't think the seat can take much more of it.

"Well, not so much figure out as remember." I said.

"Did you remember where the house is we hid all our stuff?" John asked eagerly. He knew I'd been trying all day, although nobody else had a clue what we were on about.

"Sort of, I remembered where the map to it is. It's in the truck's glove compartment. Or it should be any way." I said, and we both started a race to the truck at the same time.

Every one else followed soon after, and Emmett couldn't seem to help himself when he asked, "What stuff did you hide?" still bouncing slightly. And here was me thinking only Alice did that, but she was bouncing as well.

"Ermm…There's the paintball guns and the water guns, we were bored so we tried to make them to look as a like to a real gun as we could." I started.

"There's the media players we modified to hold 5 terabytes worth of memory each." John continued.

"I think we had go-kart designs in there as well." I added.

"I think we made a couple as well."

"Oh yeah, I remember racing through the woods with those, they were great." I said happily. "Although the dirt bikes we made were better."

"Oh yeah, way better. Easier to get around the trails on as well."

"I think we had an arcade machine in there as well." I said, this was really more like a conversation between John and I that the others were listening in on excitedly.

"Remember when we almost electrocuted ourselves trying to put the screen back in after modifying it to hold all the arcade games we could find."

"Aye, and we would have if I hadn't turned off the power first."

"So that's why I couldn't get it to turn on!"

"Mmmhhm. And remember when we painted it using the paintball guns?"

"I don't think we had actually intended to paint it."

"Hey, you shot me first! I was just acting in self defence!"

"And then attacking me!"

"Yeah yeah cool your jets man, I found the map. Why did we make a map again?"

"Because we were so bored we couldn't think of anything else to do."

"Ah. Right." I said.

"what?" Everyone asked me.

"This is very important," I said to the Cullen's. "have you ever been in your basement?"

"No, why?" Emmett said. Everyone else looked at him. Even Aeryn and Chiana got it!

"Because that's where we hid the stuff."

"But it's locked." he said, still confused.

"Yes, but we know where the key is." I said like I was talking to a child.

"But we couldn't find it."

"Did you look inside the basement?" I said like I was talking to a toddler.

"But we couldn't, it was locked."

"I hate to say it, but Emmett does have a point there." Alice said.

"Thank you…HEY!" he protested. He he.

"After school, I'll show you what I mean." I said.

"Um, Bella? I forgot how to do it." John said.

"Seriously, you're the one that taught me how to do it." I said astounded.

"Well, there aren't really any keys on Moya, so I couldn't exactly practice." he explained.

"I still remember!" I exclaimed.

"well you obviously have a better memory than me."

"We're still going to you're house after school." I said to them, them being the Cullen's.

* * *

As much as I loved the Thing, despite the fact I call it the Thing, it is slow and loud as hell. I'm having trouble trying to remember how we managed to steal it from Jake on that dare. Now I understand why he was so smug that he could catch us while we tried to steal it.

I only managed to get it up to 55 before it started weezing, causing Edward, who had decided he was coming with me and grudgingly handed over the keys of his Volvo , was staring worriedly at me. He didn't seem to like the noises the truck was making, and made it known too.

"Bella? Should you really be going this fast? I don't think your truck can take it."

"So are you worried about the truck or me?" I asked teasingly, with the afore mentioned truck coughing and wheezing in the background.

"Both, if this truck gives out the engine could implode and your foot would still be on the gas and I don't think I could get you out in time, or even myself." he said quickly, as if he didn't want even to think about it.

"Edward, Old Rusty has been doing this for years and has never given out yet."

"There's a first time for everything, and as you said this truck is old."

"And therefore is dependable."

"At any rate, could you please slow down so it doesn't sound like its dying." I went one further, I stopped. "I didn't mean you had to stop right there."

"But if I kept driving I'd crash straight into a tree, that's if I missed your house first." I said innocently while Edward noticed we had arrived.

I skipped up to the door, God knows why, and felt in such an unexpectedly good mood, I even shouted, "MOM, I'M HOME!" up the stairs to the woman who certainly seemed motherly.

She came down the stairs in less than a heart beat and pulled me into a hug, obviously very pleased. "Do you really think of me as a mother?"

"Now that I think about, yeah, I suppose I do." I could just hear D'Argo know. It'd probably be something like, 'we're stuffed now, the vampires are definitely coming then aren't they?' or something to that effect.

Even Aeryn and Chiana hugged her, Aeryn really rather liked her, which surprised me since she was sebatian. I don't know why, but I never figured them for family types.

"So, basically, we're here to take over your basement." I said.

"Bells! Have you no manners?!" John said to me in mock disapproving astonishment.

"I have many manners! There is the manner in which I walk, there is the manner in which I eat, and you have just witnessed the manner in which I talk." I said to him, and then continued speaking to Esme. "I'll rephrase, we'd like to _rent your basement, but it was ours first, and still technically isn't yours since you don't have the key and haven't even been in it before."_

"_Bella!" John said, continuing with his mock affront. _

"_And that was the manner in which I bargain." I said to him not turning away from Esme. _

"_Sure honey, I don't mind, and no need to pay either, but do you mind me asking, do you have the key?" _

"_No, you have the key." I said before heading for where I knew the basement to be._


	8. Chapter 8

"Mistro! I have a request!" I said to Edward.

He took his place at his piano and asked, "What is your request you milady?" with a smile on his face.

"Bang on the piano." his face fell.

"I've never heard of it before."

"But its such a cheery, upbeat, happy song! Would you mind if John played it? He has to, I have to open the door and he's forgotten how." I asked him. I was half asking Edward, half asking John.

"Sure." they both said at the same time.

"It's a good thing John isn't that bad a singer." I said as I headed towards the door.

'_I wonder if you could be my therapy_

_It's kind of awkward but obvious_

_It's what I need_

_I'm not Michelangelo painting a ceiling_

_But our the last shade of red that I'll be missing'_

Love that song. Need to find a paper. Do vampires read the newspaper?

'_There's not a pill that I can't take_

_You're just a habit that I can't break oh'_

HAHA! There it is, just slip that underneath the door, find a hairclip, pin…gah! Surely Alice has one.

'_I'll bang on this piano till the feeling's come_

_I'm standing on the edge but my feet can't jump_

_Stumbling the words on the back of my tongue_

_But I wont stop till the feelings have gone'_

I was in Alice's dressing room, yes she has her own dressing room, and I was looking every where for hair pin. It was bedlam in here. Is there order?!

'_It's 'bout four in the morning still can't sleep_

_And that blanket wrapped around you wish that was me_

_But I'm just one more cynical dreamer_

_I never dreamed like this_

_I'm pulling out my hair_

_Pretending I don't care'_

There it is! I started to run back down the stairs.

'_There's not a pill that I cant take_

_You're just a habit that I cant break, oh'_

I slipped the news paper underneath the door and put the pin in the lock to try and force out the key on the other side.

'_I'll bang on this piano till the feelings come_

_I'm standing on the edge but my feet can't jump_

_Stumbling words on the back of my tongue_

_And I wont stop till the feelings have gone'_

Yes! It's out! I pulled the newspaper back and put the key back in the lock and turned.

'_I don't need to know where we're going_

_I'll just be the scream and let it out_

_I can feel the music flowing_

_I cant feel it, never felt like this'_

The door was stuck. I still had no shoes on, so I gestured for Aeryn to kick the door in for me.

'_I'll bang on this piano till the feelings come_

_I'm standing on the edge but my feet cant jump_

_Stumbling words on the back of my tongue_

_And I wont stop till the feelings have gone'_

_And we're in! Whoo!_

_Carlisle came in cautiously in the middle of my cheering, and Emmett's John's Aeryn's and Chiana's mostly. _

"_Hiya daddy doc!" I said cheerily. "Dear God I am never saying that again." I murmured in astonishment at myself as I turned to go into the basement. _

_John came up from behind me and grabbed my arm. We turned around with our arms still linked remembering things we had done here. It had originally had black walls, but well, we like paintball. _

_Emmett picked up one of our paintball guns. "I guess this explains the paintballs all over the house when we got here." _

"_And the forest." John continued grinning. _

"_And the road." I said. _

"_And the school." John added._

"_And on our house." I pointed out. _

"_And every other house in the street." _

"_And the diner." _

"_Pretty much all over Forks." _

"_And the cliffs up at the rez."_

"_And most of the rez." _

"_To be fair, they helped." _

"_With sadistic glee." _

"_Aye, but you weren't the one who got shot off the cliff by their older sibling!" I said pointedly to John. _

"_Ack! You were fine, you had fun if I remember correctly."_

"_Yeah, and I suppose I did get payback."_

"_Darn tootin'! Note to self, never say that again. You almost gave us a heart attack!" I was laughing. First I was telling myself not to say 'daddy doc' and now John had banned himself from saying 'darn tootin'. I don't believe them when they say I'm sober. Or maybe I was always sober and I just act drunk, or maybe I'm always drunk. _

"_Hang on a minute there, you fell off a cliff?!?!" came the worried, shout really, from Edward._


	9. Chapter 9

"Ermm…" John tried to say.

"Well…yes. I fell off a cliff." I said. "But it wasn't my fault! John shot me with a red paintball when I was at the edge of the tallest cliff in the Rez."

"The…tallest…cliff."

"And there's also the time John shot me with an arrow." I continued.

"You cant blame me for that one! And you shot me too!"

"Do I look like a deer?!" I exclaimed.

"You could have been one there!"

"No, there couldn't. if I was there, whatever deer there was would have ran away. Especially when I started screaming!"

"And even more so when you shot me back and I started screaming!"

"This argument is going no where, is it?" I asked him.

"No. it didn't go anywhere 8 years ago either." he admitted.

"You shot each other with arrows when you were 9?!" Alice practically screamed.

We were both about to argue, we were actually 15 at the time, but then we remembered we were actually supposed to be 17, not 23, so we didn't. we ignored her comment instead.

"What were you doing with bows and arrows at age 9?!" she continued.

"Playing cowboys and Indians." we grinned.

"Why do you even OWN bows and arrows."

"To play cowboys and Indians." we grinned once again. Like we're going to be serious.

"Do you guys know how you guys know how to be serious?" damn it, she caught on.

"of course." John and I, along with Aeryn and Chiana said. When your being hunted across all of unknown space and some known, you kinda have to know how to be at least slightly serious. And yes, I did mean it that way.

"What did they say?" Carlisle asked, he seemed very interested in them. I suppose he was a doctor.

"The same thing we did." I told him.

"But they said different things."

"We never said they spoke the same language as each other, you just assumed it." John said. Somehow, I had found my way to beside Edward, sitting on the piano bench. And his arm had found its way around my waist. I was more than comfortable, so I leaned into his side, slightly surprised I hadn't already.

And that one thing, just sitting there, I realised that at the very least I liked him, and then I realised, it was more than that. I loved him. The next day, Edward had asked me to be his girlfriend, in a beautiful circular meadow might I add, and I had to stop myself from saying I would marry him if he asked me to. It didn't work, and he smiled even wider than he had before.

After that, things became a bit more, well, normal, I guess, I still haven't told them about the aliens though. And it wasn't boring, of course not, but it got really interesting three weeks later. And it only took one day…


	10. AN My Apologies

I am sorry, but I highly doubt I all be ever completing these stories. I am also sorry it took so long to actually say it. I appear to have lost my inspiration for them. I never really liked the twilight saga to be honest, I wrote fanfictions of them for their characters - somewhat stereotypical and easily predicted. I do not know if the fanfictions were written out of a desire not to create my own characters, or to change the ones in the series. If it was the letter, I no longer really care. If it was the former, then I have multiple personal projects with original characters that I have grown to love and want to spend more time with. Maybe I will never publish them, maybe no one will ever read them apart from me, but I want to write their stories, instead of twisting someone else's. This is not a comment on all fanfiction authors - I am not saying that they are merely manipulating someone else's story, however, I was, while they were and are exploring literary worlds and the multitude of other storylines and options within them. If anyone cares to finish these stories elsewhere, or rewrite them, then all I ask is the link to it.


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